I don’t go out drinking, and I do not do illegal drugs. I am
not a prostitute and I am not addicted to much other than caffeine and my
phone. However, I am quite guilty of having some unhealthy habits. When I was
younger, as a coping mechanism I presume, I used to bite my fingernails. I did
it for years and years until finally one day I just stopped. Now, some of my
habits are a little less common and socially acceptable.
Firstly, my eating habits. I used to do some pretty dumb
things when it came to eating, but now I usually just don’t eat as much as I
should. I have lost weight, and I like it, but those around me aren’t sharing
in my sentiments as much. I don’t eat regularly and because of this, sometimes
I can go long periods of time without feeling hungry. Other times, like today
at work with no break, I felt like I was withering away I was so hungry. Food
is fuel, and sometimes I run on empty.
Another unhealthy habit is major and self-admitted sleep
deprivation. Between homework, work, and talking to friends (but mostly the
former), I get a maximum of six hours per night, but usually less. I get to
sleep in usually once a month, if that, as my weekend mornings are spent
getting up early for work and my weekday mornings are spent getting up for
school. A day of getting to sleep in and catching up on some much-needed sleep
is a treasure and I feel as though sleep has been a luxury as of late, to my
dismay.
A habit deemed unhealthy more by others than by myself is how
I view myself and how I treat and talk to myself. I hate myself, physically and
mentally, and I am not dumb enough to believe otherwise. My self-image is neither
healthy nor positive, and my self-confidence is virtually nonexistent about
most things. I over-analyze, over-criticize, and belittle myself. It is not
good, not fun, and CERTAINLY not healthy.
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